If you’ve been watching from the beginning, we probably don’t need to tell you that Jersey Shore Family Reunion is quite different from the show’s original iteration.
The OG Jersey Shore saw the housemates doing their best to get loaded and laid, stopping at nothing to achieve these goals, provided they weren’t forced to mess up their spray tans or elaborate hairstyles.
Family Vacation, however, is aptly named, in that the guidos and guidettes are often forced to be on their best behavior, a circumstance you can probably relate to if you’ve ever shared a coastal rental property with your immediate relatives for a week.
That may sound boring, and Vacation is undeniably much slower-paced than its predecessor, but in its own way, the series is just as engrossing as our very first excursion to Seaside Heights.
The stakes are higher, the jokes more consistent (and less problematic, if that’s your thing), and the storylines are more compelling, as we’re watching the crew attempt to navigate the choppy waters of adulthood and not simply dodge “grenades” and social diseases.
Much of the season has focused on Ronnie’s infidelity, and we’ve derived a whole lot of guilty pleasure from comparing the travails of his relationship at the time the show was filmed with his ongoing romantic difficulties, as documented on social media.
(Astonishingly, Ronnie and Jen Harley got back together this week.)
But last night was Vinny’s turn, as the Keto Guido repeatedly crossed the line while partying with the other members of MVP.
To his credit, Vin tries to do right by his model girlfriend, Elicea, but with a full bottle of Grey Goose sloshing around in his carb-deprived body, that’s easier said than done.
Vinny never takes things quite as far as Ronnie, but he knows that his girlfriend would not be pleased by his flirtatious interactions with the bottle service girls of South Beach.
In an effort to alleviate his guilt, Vinny calls Elicea in order to confess his misdeeds, at one point clarifying that he obtained the phone numbers of not one woman, but two.
“What kind of guido math is that?” asks a befuddled Pauly.
It does seem weird to assure your girlfriend that you got two numbers instead of just one, but we think we see the logic in Vinny’s confession.
Something about the image of him drunkenly connecting with random strangers is less unseemly than the thought of him pursuing one woman all night.
One of the most shocking developments of Family Vacation, of course, has been the fact that Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has matured into one of the more stable housemates.
Granted, Sorrentino is facing prison time so he’s pretty much been forced to cool his jets, but he does seem to be doing his best to atone for his decade or so of wildly douchey behavior.
On last night’s episode, Mike recruited Jenni to help him pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend.
He proceeded to have an anxiety attack because adulthood, but the man deserves credit for taking baby steps in the right direction.
Meanwhile, the rest of the cast combed South Beach in search of the perfect girl for Pauly, as though a famous DJ needs any help hooking up in Miami.
Pauly predicted that his friends would have trouble finding a mate who meets his exact specifications and in the end, we were treated to a lame visual gag as Vinny dressed up as Pauly’s ideal woman.
Hey, we said the jokes have a higher success rate than the original Shore; we never claimed they land 100 percent of the time.
Although actually, Pauly and Vinny might really want to consider finding comfort in one another’s arms.
It seems the Keto Guido’s reckless behavior was too much for Elicea, as Vin is now officially single.
Watch Jersey Shore online for more bad decisions from people who are deep into their thirties.